Planned & Unplanned Discipleship

What does biblical discipleship look like? Is it found in a Sunday school class? Or perhaps in a worship service?  What about Bible study groups? While all of these may contain discipleship, discipleship is not necessarily contained in them.

Discipleship could be divided into two main categories: planned and unplanned. Planned discipleship specifically calls aside persons for spiritual training.

Both are intentional, both are vital. Both are modeled by Jesus.

Jesus had more than twelve disciples. The word disciple is used in the gospels to describe hundreds of people who followed Christ during his ministry on earth.

 

Unplanned Discipleship

Unplanned discipleship included everyone Christ came in contact with –he was constantly teaching as a lifestyle.

Unplanned does not mean unprepared. We are called to always be prepared to give an answer for the hope that is within us. (I Peter3:15)

We participate in unplanned discipleship through our lifestyle as God brings people into our path (its never unplanned to Him).  Praying with a hurting co-worker, discussing Scripture with a friend, and serving our neighbor are all examples of unplanned discipleship.  It’s simply living Christ-like before all men.

While we must practice unplanned discipleship, the Great Commission simultaneously points us toward something deeper.

 

Planned Discipleship

Jesus calls us to both unplanned and planned discipleship.

In the midst of the crowd of disciples, Christ specifically called the twelve apostles for more intimate training.  Planned discipleship is the concentrated training of disciple-makers.

When it comes to planned discipleship, we take a more focused approach.  Planned discipleship deals with a few, intentionally selected people.  Even within the twelve, Jesus had three he concentrated on the most: Peter, James, and John. Planned discipleship isn’t random or haphazard.  Instead, it is strategic and intentional.  To follow Christ’s example, we must prayerfully choose people to pour our lives into.

MJ, Discipleship & Missions -Part Two

God created us in His image to reflect His glory (see part 1). And His goal is to see His glory cover the earth as His image is spread to all nations.

Habakuk 2:14 states, “For the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the LORD as the waters cover the sea.”

But how will this world-wide worship take place?

After Genesis 1:27 tells us that God created us in His image, Genesis 1:28 explains how that image is to be mobilized globally. God instructed Adam and Eve to “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.”

The idea is that Adam and Eve would reproduce and build a family of God-Imagers (worshippers) who would eventually fill the earth with God’s glory.

When sin entered the world, the logistics changed –but God’s plan did not change.

Man is still multiplying. Global population is at an all-time high. But because of the fall, physically multiplication does not equal spiritual multiplication We are all born as sinners. For spiritual reproduction to take place, a “second birth” must take place.

So when Jesus announced the Great Commission, He wasn’t introducing a new idea. Instead, he was repeating God’s heart from the beginning of time. But don’t misunderstand, “making disciples of all nations” does not merely imply multiplying spiritual babies –it means multiplying mature, growing disciples of Christ.

Just like responsible parents continue to train their children to be mature adults, believers are called to help other believers grow in the image of Christ.  That’s what God intended when he instructed Adam and Eve to “be fruitful and multiply.”

Of course spiritual discipleship is not limited to parents and children –although that is vital. In a broader sense, it is a call for all believers to help other believers grow.

Many believers feel inadequate to make disciples because they have never been to seminary or Bible College. However, we don’t carry those same implications over to other vital areas of our life.

For instance, do you know any couples that earned a bachelor’s degree in parenting before having a baby? Of course not. But somehow, they instinctively know when to teach their child to tie their shoes, ride a bike, or say “please” and “thank you.” Why? Because their parents imparted an image of maturity into them. Parenting is just a matter of passing that image on to their children. Incredibly, most parenting is caught rather than taught. (Just think of all the times you stand back amazed at how your child laughs like you, tells stories like you, or responds to conflict like you).

Discipleship is the same way. By spending quality time with others through intentional relationships, the image of Christ that has been developed within you is transferred to those whom you pour into.

Several years ago, I hiked with a missionary to a remote village in the Philippines. After three hours of trekking through mountains and rivers, we arrived in a small community with no electricity or running water. For all practical purposes, they were removed from the outside world.

But my eyes were opened in that remote village when a small child tugged at my shirt. He looked up at me with big eyes and asked, “Do you know Michael Jordan?”

Wow! Take that in for a second. How did that happen without tv, internet, radio, or newspapers? Over time, as outsiders visited the village, they occasionally wore Jordan apparel. And because the visitors were enamored with Jordan, it rubbed off on the natives.

Just in case you weren’t convinced before –Image is a powerful thing!

If the image of a mere man can travel to the most remote villages of the world, what can happen when believers passionately display the image of God as they live fruitful, multiplying lives! The call to “make disciples of all nations” is a call to “be fruitful and multiply” the “image of God” around the world!

So where do you start?

1)   If you are a parent, your first disciple-making priority is with your children. Are you spending as much time training them spiritually as you are helping them with homework, working on their baseball swing, or taking them to dance class?

2)   If you are not a parent, (or your kids are out of the house) are you taking advantage of the opportunities you have with fellow church members, family, or neighbors? What about that younger couple who could benefit from your years of wisdom? Or the single mom that needs someone to speak into her life? What about the young professional who needs an older man to help him learn to balance work and family? You can be that influence. Start by spending time together over lunch or inviting them to your house. If you are living out the image of  God in your life, it will eventually spill over in theirs.

If you will be faithful to “be fruitful and multiply” God will use it to reach the world.

What is Your Community Mission?

When missionaries are commissioned to plant a church, they are expected to reach the community to which they have been sent. For instance, a missionary sent to a suburb of Omaha, Nebraska is expected to reach the people in that particular area through community engagement. Many times this takes shape as a service project such as handing out water bottles at a county fair to meet people or volunteering to feed the volunteer fire department in order to build relationships.

So when does it stop? When does a new church reach the point that it no longer needs to emphasize community involvement?

Of course, the answer is never.

Why, then, do many churches neglect community outreach? Perhaps it happens when a congregation loses focus on its mission and becomes institutionalized. Institutionalization occurs when the mission changes from an outward focus to an inward focus. Every church struggles with the temptation to institutionalize. Face it, reaching out means sacrificing time and resources that would otherwise be self-serving. Every decision within the church, therefore, must be made with intentional focus on the mission. Will the new budget reflect an emphasis on projects that enhance the church’s comfort, or projects that reach the community with the gospel? Will the next VBS be focused on ministering “church kids” or will efforts be made to invite unchurched children? Is the next sermon series going to make us comfortable with our “holy huddle” or challenge us to share the gospel with our neighbors?

As long as there are unbelievers in the vicinity, the church must make efforts to engage the community. The Great Commission demands no less.

So how will your church get involved? Let me challenge you to find at least one way to reach outside the walls of your church for the sake of making a kingdom investment. What will be your community mission?

What Should Christians Say to Homosexuals About Homosexuality?

This is part 2 of “How now should we talk to our gay friends?” The first part talks about the “how,” or “posture,” of Christian conversation. This part (2) will address the “what,” or “content,” of our conversation. 

 

I need to admit is the tension I feel while writing. On the one hand, I am a full-fledged, Bible-believing evangelical. I affirm a very conservative theology including the inerrancy, infallibility, and authority of Scripture, the virgin birth, miracles, etc.

On the other hand, I have dear friends in the LGBT community who have shared that the word “evangelical” is connoted with hatred, anger, self-righteousness, and political agendas. While I don’t believe that is an accurate description of all evangelicals, I do believe they have plenty of evidence to support their claims.

I don’t believe I am alone in this tension. It seems to me that this is where Jesus lived. He had authentic, loving, legitimate friendships with people whom the religious of his day treated with disdain. And He was quick to point out that the religious folks were just as sinful as His close friends. At the same time, Jesus was honest with both groups about their sin. This is very important to consider.

As in part 1 of this post, I do encourage evangelicals to have conversations with LGBT friends. (But if that’s the only conversation you are having with them, there’s a good chance you are using them and not loving them.) Ignoring and shunning a group of people based upon their sin is hypocritical (because we are ALL sinners), anti-missional (because the mission of God is to redeem sinners), and anti-gospel (because Christ died for us ‘while we were yet sinners). LGBT people are not our enemies –they are our fellow citizens on earth to whom we are called to “be at peace with everyone…” (Romans 12:18).

Of course, we know that the message of God’s Word is offensive to many –Jesus told us it would be (John 15:18-21). However, we are never called to deliver his Word in an offensive manner. To do so is a far greater sin –the sin of misrepresenting Christ.

I believe you will find that most LGBT people, when treated with dignity and respect, are equally willing to have conversations and friendship with evangelicals. Just remember, conversation implies that you listen, genuinely listen, at least as much as you speak. And friendship implies that you consider them as person -not as a project.

So, now for part 2, WHAT exactly should the content of our conversation consist of when we discuss LGBT issues and same-sex marriage?

Be clear about your belief in the Bible. Be upfront about the fact that you believe the Bible is God’s authoritative Word. Let the person know that your beliefs and convictions are based upon a traditional, evangelical view of Scripture. This will be helpful so that the person understand the worldview perspective you are drawing from. Explain that you believe the Bible teaches that the practice of homosexuality is sinful (more on this below) but not beyond the grace of God.

Do Not Talk About “Their Sin” Without Talking About “Your Sin.” Consider that you are talking about THEIR SIN –in the open. That’s not comfortable for anyone. Don’t quote I Corinthians 6:9 without sharing verse 11: “Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral… nor men who practice homosexuality… will inherit the kingdom of God. (11) And such were some of you.” Even more important, don’t neglect the hope found in the rest of verse 11: “but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.”

Ask, Don’t Assume. Perhaps you have been hurt by someone assuming you are a bigot because you identify as evangelical. Don’t be guilty of doing the same thing to an LGBT person. Instead, ask and listen before assuming you know what they think or how they feel.

Don’t Group all LGBT Persons in the Same Group. Just like the term “Christian” could include a wide array of viewpoints, the LGBT community is composed of various perspectives. Some LGBT people did not support same-sex marriage while others did. Some prefer to remain private with their lifestyle while others choose to be public. Differences of opinion within the LGBT community also exist among issues regarding adoption, fostering, education, and legislation, etc. Such differences highlight the value of conversation all the more.

Don’t Group all Christians Together Either. Acting as if you are the spokesperson for all of Christendom is arrogant and assumes everyone believes what you believe. Be careful to exhibit your awareness of the diversity among believers. This is not a call to be reserved with your convictions, rather to be intellectually honest in expressing them.

Never Misquote or Misrepresent the Bible Just to Make a Point. Misrepresenting the Bible is misrepresenting God –that’s akin to Satan’s rhetoric with Eve (ie. “Did God really say…” Genesis 3:1).

Share Scripture Defining The Biblical Position on Homosexuality. Here are a few to consider:

  • The Bible says absolutely nothing positive about homosexuality. Any argument that says otherwise is based upon the premise that “the text doesn’t mean what it seems to mean.”
  • The Bible clearly defines homosexuality as sin (Leviticus 18:22, 20:13, Romans 1:26-27, I Timothy 1:9-10).
  • Jesus addressed the issue of homosexuality. In Matthew 19:4-6 and Mark 10:6-9, He affirms God’s design for marriage as between male and female. Further, in Mark 7:21, Jesus condemned the sin of porneia which can be found in Greek literature with reference to adultery, fornication, prostitution, and homosexuality.
  • Paul’s word choice for homosexuality (I Tim. 1:9-10) is not “up for interpretation.” If anything, he went out of his way to use specific language that would not cause confusion. If, as some have suggested, he was referring to another sin such as pederasty, he could have used other terminology. Instead, he intentionally coined a term from the Septuagint translation of Mosaic Law forbidding sex between two men.
  • The Bible makes it clear that all have sinned (Romans 3:23). And, while every sin is not equal (ie. murder vs. lying), we are all equally condemned as sinners. “Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself because you, the judge, practice the very same things” (Romans 2:1). Therefore, we must never approach others as though we are judge and jury. Instead, we come as fellow sinners pointing to our only hope who came “into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God (John 3:17-18).

This is an extremely abbreviated list. For an excellent resource, I recommend Kevin DeYoung’s What Does the Bible Really Teach about Homosexuality?

 

 

 

 

 

 

MJ, Discipleship & Missions -Part One

You’ve seen the logo. No matter your age or interests, most likely you recognize the Michael “Air” Jordan logo. It is Nike’s goose that laid the golden egg.

Created in 1985, it is officially known as the “Jumpman” logo. For years it exclusively branded a line of “Air Jordan” basketball shoes and apparel. Today, however, the logo touches everything for Nike. Baseball players wear Jordan cleats. Football players even have Jordan armbands.

The crazy thing is that Jordan hasn’t played basketball in over 9 years! Yet, preschoolers (who will never see him play unless its on ESPN Classic) all want to wear his gear –now that’s a powerful image!

It’s been said that “Image is everything.” Nike’s Jumpman logo supports that statement. But why is “image” so important?

Ultimately, “image” is not something that marketing firms and ad agencies invented. Its actually a part of God’s design for humans.

Why would God create us to be obsessed with image? Check out Genesis 1:27, “God created man in his own image.”

Of course this does not mean we are made to be gods, but rather, we were created to reflect God’s image to the world. We are designed to project His image as a means to exalt him throughout the earth.

One of the implications of this design means that we imitate what we worship. That’s why everyone want’s to wear Michael Jordan branded apparel. We desperately want to identify with him. Nike even ran an ad campaign with a catchy jingle –“I wanna be like Mike.”

Now other retailers have picked up on the power of Jordan’s image. Duracell batteries, Gatorade, Ballpark Hot Dogs, and Haynes have all hired him to endorse their products. And yes, there really are men out there who believe that they could do a reverse-360-slam-dunk if they just bought some Haynes underwear!

Image is a powerful thing. So if we imitate what we worship, it should follow that we imitate God. That’s why we were created in His image. For example, when we display mercy to a co-worker who has stabbed us in the back; the world sees a reflection of God’s mercy toward sinners. And as we forgive the friend who has betrayed our trust one more time, we display the patient and long-suffering love of God toward us.

We live out a lifestyle of worship by reflecting God’s image. And that image is not just meant for us to enjoy –it is meant to cover the earth!

And that’s what part 2 will look at tomorrow.

Ready to Hand Over Your Baby?

In 2 Timothy 2:2, Paul instructs Timothy, “…what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.”  What a great summary of a spiritual legacy!

Paul describes four generations of discipleship in this verse.  He starts with himself (what you have heard from me) and continues to Timothy.  Next, he instructs Timothy to disciple the next generation (entrust to faithful men).  But Paul doesn’t stop there. He actually has an eye to the fourth generation (who will be able to teach others also.)

Here we see the progression of discipleship. 1) Be a disciple, 2) train a disciple, 3) train the disciple to make disciples, 4) ensure the disciple is training disciples to make disciples.

Discipleship is God’s plan to reach the world.  If it doesn’t continue, it isn’t discipleship.  Many times people ask, “how do I know when a disciple has ‘got it’?”  The best answer is a disciple has “got it” when they have made disciples to the fourth generation.  That’s when you know that they really have a Great commission vision to see disciples multiplied to the nations! In other words, you haven’t made a disciple until they’re a disciple-maker!

How do you help a disciple become a disciple-maker? By entrusting.  What does “entrust” mean?  Think about a parent with a newborn baby. They don’t just sling their infant around to other people.  Instead, they carefully entrust their child into the arms of a someone they are confident in.  And they don’t let go until they know the other person has the baby secured.  Entrusted means you don’t let go until they’ve “got it.”

That’s why its important to not look at discipleship as a set of lessons that you move through from week to week.  Discipleship is not a program. No, it is a process of principles you are passing along.  And you don’t move from one to another until your disciple has “got it.”

This also highlights the importance of Paul’s phrase “faithful men.” Paul was telling Timothy –“Don’t just disciple anyone –make sure they will be faithful to disciple others.”  In other words, before you choose who you will disciple, ask yourself, “Can I picture this person discipling someone else?”  You must have the fourth generation in mind before you even get started. Your goal is to disciple disciple-makers.

Remember when Jesus told His disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”?  He was teaching the fourth generation principle.  Christ wasn’t saying “ignore the harvest,” but instead, don’t just settle for the harvest you can gather –but leverage your ministry to multiply laborers for an exponentially greater harvest.  Interpretation: don’t just make disciples, make disciple-makers.

Maybe you are having problems seeing disciple-making-potential in someone you are considering investing in. In the same way, its unlikely that many people saw potential in the twelve apostles when Jesus called them. They were common laborers without impressive accolades.  But Jesus saw their potential through lens of what God could accomplish through them.

In Acts 4:13, the rulers and elders of Jerusalem saw what Jesus had seen all along. Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated, common men, they were astonished. And they recognized that they had been with Jesus.

We must choose our disciples carefully, asking the Holy Spirit to help us select men whom God can shape into disciple-makers.

The most effective way for a couple to influence their grandchildren and great-grandchildren is to carefully parent their children. That’s the power of leverage through multiplication. When you have a spiritual legacy, every act of spiritual growth in your life and in the life of your disciples is multiplied to those following you.

Perhaps the most powerful time of parenting is the last stage where the children have become parents and are asking a multitude of “how-to’s” and opinions. It is at this point that they have training, experience, and meaningful questions all at the same time. It’s the same phenomena that makes a teacher the best learner. They are now in a position to be accountable for their training.

Can you look forward to the day your disciples are training your spiritual grandchildren? It may be your most exciting days as a disciple-maker. Just like a grandparent goes crazy for his grandkids, you will be rejoicing over the way God continues your discipling to the next generation.

We Love Gay People

Several years ago, I published this article in a denominational paper. Needless to say, it received mixed reviews -some positive, some negative. Nonetheless, I think the issue is just as important as it was then -and certainly more relevant. I look forward to hearing your feedback.

 

Let’s put this in perspective. Fact: Homosexuality is a sin against God. Fact: So is lying, cheating, laziness, lust and more!

While homosexuality is a terribly wicked act, so is every other sin we commit against a holy God. But why does the church tend to point out homosexuality as the “untouchable” sin?

Perhaps it’s because, up to this point in history, the church has been full of liars, cheaters, adulterers, murderers, etc. But since homosexuality has remained “taboo” in the church, it is the only sin that liars, cheaters, adulterers and murderers can point to and still feel “holier than thou!” “At least I don’t do that!” If homosexuals came into the church, we would lose our moral superiority. We might just be grouped in the same category as “wretched sinners.”

Perhaps we should reconsider what Rom. 3:10-12 says: “None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one.” That verse describes you, me, liars, homosexuals — all sinners!

The Pharisees didn’t see things that way. They believed they were better than the average sinner. Of course, Jesus called their bluff when He gave them permission to “cast the first stone” at the woman caught in adultery.

Speaking of stones, there are a lot of them being thrown in the name of Christ these days. Anti-gay rallies featuring signs saying “God hates fags” are commonplace. Sadly, many churches encourage their members to participate. It sure feels good to point out how terrible someone else is!

But what if we decided to display the love of Christ instead? It was the radical love of Jesus that compelled Him to minister to taxpayers, prostitutes, Samaritans and drunkards. And by the way, He helped them transform their sinful actions into God-honoring lifestyles. Jesus knew the only way they would change is through His unfailing love — the same love that saved you and me “while we were yet sinners.” (Rom. 5:8) Maybe we just don’t want these people to change. After all, that would take away our “holier than thou” crutch.

But what if we took all our “hate” energy and poured it into ministries for homosexuals? What if we abandoned anti-gay rallies and replaced them with “God loves you” rallies? Perhaps then the homosexual community would be able to see past our arrogance to the powerful love of Christ and the cross.

Bottom line: Homosexuality is a terrible sin. Gay people are wicked sinners. And so am I!

We do not endorse the gay lifestyle. Nor do we support gay marriage or gay adoption. We should, however, follow Christ’s example in loving sinners and calling them to repentance. Of course, once they repent and place their faith in Christ for salvation, we help them resist temptation and discipline them if they consistently rebel without remorse. That’s how we should treat every sinner in the church!

Training vs. Trying

Men do not go to battle simply by putting on a uniform and bearing a weapon. Before they enter a war-zone, they must first train for action.

Many Christians have simply worn the uniform of Christ for years without training to be His disciple. Sure, they have tried to follow Jesus, but they haven’t trained.

Training takes effort, determination, and commitment. It is strenuous and challenging. But it is the only way to grow. Many churches overlook this fact and create an atmosphere of “trying” instead of “training” –try to be good, try to be nice, try to be here, try not to embarrass us.  That’s a great policy for a social club, but not a great strategy to win the world. Churches who try but don’t train are full of kind, respected people with no life transformation.

Training means putting our faith into practice.  The disciple-maker must lead his disciple through life experiences.  Every experience is an opportunity for learning. Paul knew the power of training through life experiences when he said, “Imitate me as I imitate Christ.” (I Corinthians 11:1)

Try thinking of discipleship like teaching a child to ride a bike.  What does that kind of teaching look like?  Do you sit down at the table and go through a book on cycling?  Do you lecture about balance? Do you start with a chart outlining the nuts, bolts, gears, and spokes? Very few fathers hand their sons the bicycle’s user manual and say, “Good luck!” Instead, they place them on the bike and help them hold it steady as they learn to pedal.  Then, slowly, they let go, until the child gets the hang of it.

This is how Jesus trained the twelve.  He began by placing a few men’s feet on the pedals of ministry.  As He walked with these men, He gently moved them forward while holding on to the seat. After three-and-a-half years of coaching, He released them to ride as ministers of the gospel.  Of course, they all crashed a few times, but just like riding a bike, they never forgot what He trained them to do.

As the ancient proverb states, “I hear, I forget; I see, I remember; I do, I understand.”

Discipleship should be as hands on as possible. For example, before discussing the implications of “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39), it might be beneficial to spend time at the local supermarket challenging your disciples to see people the way God sees them and do everything possible to show them love. You might help an elderly lady reach a can of soup off of the top shelf, help a mother of four load grocery bags into her minivan, or take all of the empty carts out of the parking lot and inside.  You could take your disciple to the house of an ill neighbor and mow the yard together. Or you might change the oil for a single mother trying to keep up with her demanding life. Imagine how the Great Commandment will make more sense after helping those in need by serving together!

The best way for your disciple to learn how to live out the practical outworking of their faith is to take them with you as you serve others. Take them to visit in the hospital, take them to pray with a hurting friend, take them to the funeral of a co-worker, take them to volunteer at the soup kitchen. As a rule of thumb, never do ministry alone –its too great an opportunity to train your disciple.  You just can’t pass it up. That was the way of the Master disciple-maker. Think of His example:

Jesus didn’t merely command the apostles to “serve others.”  Instead, He gave them fish and bread to feed the 5,000. He didn’t simply tell them to “evangelize the lost.”  He brought them along to meet the Samaritan woman. And Jesus didn’t just give them instruction on giving, but He sent them to fetch a coin from the mouth of a fish in order to pay the temple tax.

Discipleship is on-the-job training. Just like a child picks up his parent’s expressions, personality and habits, disciples learn by consistent exposure to real life.  Your walk talks louder than your talk talks.

To be adequately discipled, one must labor together with his disciple-maker. The beauty of this labor is that it produces what lecture often cannot: relevant questions. People learn best when they are genuinely interested, actively involved, and ask questions. Some of the richest moments of learning have happened in the car on the way home from sharing the gospel as a disciple asks tough questions prompted by the day’s evangelism experience.

That’s what Jesus did. Sometimes, after delivering a puzzling parable to the crowds, he would leave so the apostles would have to give an explanation (Matthew 13:36). Other times, after doing great miracles, he would explain the meaning to the disciples (Matthew 15:32). When others were theorizing on His identity, Jesus asked His men, “Who do you say that I am?” (Matthew 16:15). When the disciples could not cast out a demon, Jesus came to their aid, and then pulling them aside, taught them about faith. (Matthew 17:19-21).

The issue isn’t so much about creating training opportunities -its about recognizing them. So, make a habit of taking your disciple with you everywhere you go so you will be in the right place at the right time when the next opportunity for training appears. Then, be careful not to do for them what they can do for themselves (especially if it is a challenge to them). Throw your disciple in the deep end from time to time -just don’t forget to be standing by to step in when needed and take advantage of “teachable moments.” That’s the only way you’ll move from trying to training.

Attention Please!

Billy is having trouble in math class so his parents hire a personal tutor.  They know that individual attention will be more effective than group instruction. Discipleship is the same way. To be effective, it requires intensity that cannot be found in large crowds. Disciples must have the undivided attention of their disciple-makers.

Part of the genius of discipleship is the fact that is combines progress with accountability. Large crowds may be moved by a sermon, but have no accountability to encourage life-change. Discipleship affords both.

Discipleship cannot be rushed or “mass produced.” It will cost you an enormous amount of time and energy.

Although the crowds were eager to follow Him everywhere, Christ would often getaway with the twelve –not because He didn’t care about the crowds, but because His strategy was to reach them through the multiplication of the few disciples He was concentrating on. Jesus intentionally chose to spend more time with less people. He concentrated His discipleship on a few knowing that they would be the ones to reach the multitudes. Likewise, we must disciple a few in order to disciple the world.

Because intentional discipleship is concentrated, relationships are everything. You must spend time with your disciple in order to influence them. Invite them to eat with you, run errands with you, or watch a ballgame with you. One of the best ways to connect is to ask your disciple to teach you a skill or hobby they enjoy.  Discipleship is not limited to an hour meeting per week. It is an unending lifestyle.

As an example, parents hold the most influence over their children -more than any book, lecture, or television program. Even without realizing it, children pick up subtle characteristics that will stick with them for life. Why? Because of the shear amount of time spent together. Learning through lecture is good, learning through discussion is better, but learning by experience is best. -So on behalf of your disciple(s), attention please!

How, Then, Should We Speak to Our Gay Friends Now?

The Supreme Court of the United States has ruled on same-sex marriage. In the days following, many Christians have written various responses. Many are filled with good information regarding the biblical definition of marriage as between one man and one woman. Other responses have focused on the future implications of the SCOTUS ruling on US churches. Some have aired angry self-righteous opinions while others have appealed to a Christ-like public response.

However, I haven’t heard many Christians address what seems to me like a vital question for this moment in history: How, then, should we speak to our gay friends now? The question is not what should we think about the SCOTUS ruling, or how should the church respond. Rather, what should my conversation on Monday look like with my gay co-worker? How should I speak to my lesbian sister when we get together for pizza on Tuesday night?

In my opinion, we must talk to our gay friends and family about the issue. It is the elephant in the room now and ignoring the issue is not an option. Perhaps it was an optional conversation in the past, but now that the same-sex marriage issue is on the forefront on national conversation, we cannot hide our heads in the sand. To do so implies that our faith in Christ has no answers for relevant questions.

I think there are two vital angles that need to be considered when preparing to speak with gay friends. 1) HOW should we speak to our gay friends, and 2) WHAT should we speak to our gay friends. The first is a question of posture (how), the second is a question of content (what).

Today, I want to address the how. In a later blog post I will address the what.

Here are five biblical concepts that must be reflected in your conversation with gay friends about same-sex marriage:

1. Dignity. God has created humans in His image. In Genesis 1:27, the Bible explains:

So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

This verse of Scripture is the basis for our belief in the dignity of all human beings. To belittle a person made in God’s image is to belittle God.

This passage is also the first indication of God’s design for marriage being between a man and woman (more on that in the what post). Let me just say that an undignified response (by Christians) to an undignified lifestyle is not dignified!

2. Humility In order for any conversation with any person to be Christ-honoring, it must take place in humility. Christ set the standard for humility in dying for us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8).

Speaking to gay friends in pride and spiritual arrogance is not only offensive to your friends; it betrays the cross of Christ. Jesus spent great amounts of time with sinners shunned by the religious leaders of His day. He always approached them with humility. To my knowledge, the only sinners He treated with contempt were the self-righteous.

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves (Philippians 2:1-3).

3. Speaking the truth in love. The call to speak the truth in love is “so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes” (Ephesians 4:14). Truth and love are prescribed as a pair in the following verse (Ephesians 4:15) for a purpose. Truth without love can easily give way to hate-speech using the Bible for ammunition. Love without truth can give way to acceptance of sin in the name of Jesus. Neither is Christ-like. We need to genuinely care about our LGBT friends so much that we lovingly tell them the truth.

4. Hope. Our conversations must always communicate the hope that we have in Jesus Christ. No sinner –no matter the sin –is beyond the hope of Christ. If we are to represent Jesus in our conversations, we must share the hope that we have been given acknowledging our own need of a savior (Ephesians 2:12-13).

5. Mission. The mission of God compels us to share Christ with our LGBT friends. Some may say, “Trying to persuade someone automatically removes authenticity from a conversation. You cannot genuinely love someone while trying to persuade them.” However, I find the opposite is true. I love my son; therefore, I try to persuade him to make good decisions. If I did not try to persuade, I would be accused of not loving him. Therefore, if we truly love our LGBT friends, we will not avoid the issue, but instead will treat them with dignity by humbly speaking the truth in love and sharing the hope of Jesus Christ. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God (John 3:16-18).