Dear Jill,
It was six years ago today that you arrived in Heaven. There are so many things I want to tell you about, but I’m sure you already know.
Have you seen how big our Bryce is getting? He’s so tall for his age -just like your dad, your brother, and your nephews. He’s got “Jarvis” written all over him! Every time I look into his face, I see you. He’s got your eyes, your lips, your smile, your mannerisms, and your personality. What a blessing!
Does your heart delight with joy when we visit your family? Do you and your dad watch him play with Andy, Leah, Aaron, Adam, Ashton, and Nana? One of my favorite things in the world is to watch him feel at home with them. They always shower him with love and affection.
Have you listened as he reads his Bible every night? I am so amazed at his reading level. It is so sweet to hear God’s Word pass through his lips. My heart always warms up when I hear him read aloud the same verses I have studied and preached.
Did you hear him a few weeks ago ask when he would get a new mommy? Could you sense the hurt in my heart as I tried to answer him?
Do you see me when I hurt the most? I often wonder what you would say to me. Everybody says that you would tell me to move on and find someone else to be happy with. I know that’s true. But, I’m also scared that moving on would mean forgetting you and letting go of the most amazing relationship I have ever known.
I wish we could have this conversation face to face. I would love to hear your heavenly perspective to my earthly issues.
I’m fairly certain that you would tell me that the only way I will find answers to satisfy my questions will be to look to the cross of Christ. There, I am reminded that the hurt and pain of this fallen world are temporary. In the cross, I see that death is defeated. In the resurrection I see the hope and promise of new life. At Calvary I see that Christ’s love is infinite, that His grace is sufficient, that His humility is perfect, and His power is almighty. Looking at the cross, I do not find all the “answers,” but I find more than enough hope!
I don’t know if you celebrate anniversaries in Heaven, but I am celebrating today. Even though my heart is heavy, I rejoice that you are with Christ and that He holds you safely in His arms. Thank you for the most amazing eight years of marriage. Thank you for being a godly wife and for loving me despite my failures. Thank you for leaving an amazing legacy for Bryce -a legacy that points directly to the cross.
Bryce and I love you and miss you,
Scott
Thank you